Got Your Tickets?
I can't wait for the main event.
What's your opening move?
This is my third blog. I like to start fresh. This one will probably last a few months and then be negelected and die. It's sort of like a hamster or hermit crab or gold fish.
I can't wait for the main event.
In my current job I do a lot of work with search engines. There's really no need to go any deeper with that explanation. These results are from the top metacrawlers (Dogpile, for ex.) from the past 48 hours. Some of them are kind of interesting.
Last night I was at the Legion (huge fucking surprise) trying to win $860.00 playing Bingo. It didn't happen, though Cheryl was only 2 numbers away.
Just got back from a week in C-town. We went there for two reasons:
Ok, I couldn't resist just a few:
I think, "Hey, maybe it would be nice to be a single, 27 year-old guy who could meet different women and get to know someone all over again and feel like a 15 year-old. And then if it didn't work out, I could always just find someone else. "
Just read this article in the New Times that disusses some people getting their DUI cases dropped because of faulty handling by the cops and the article has these little boxes with stories of the "Luckiest Perps." This one is simply fantastic (I've added all the emphasis):
What he said: Claimed he had three beers to get up the courage to shoot himself. Cops threw him in the drunk tank.
Machine results: .156 blood-alcohol level.
What he says now: Attorney John Cleary says that even without the technicality, DeSoto would've gotten off by claiming temporary insanity. A day after trying to shoot himself, Cleary says, DeSoto downed a gallon of Drano. He survived that too.
A few things to take away from this fuckhead are...
1. If you need to suck down beers to shoot yourself, you probably shouldn't do it. It seems to me that if your internal life has become so fucked and depressing and hopeless (all mental issues aside) that you decide the only alternative is to end it, then it also seems to me that you'd have enough drive and ambition to at least do it sober and get the job done right. Not to mention his blatant lie of having "three beers." Three beers does not equal .156, unless of course you're 5'1 and weigh 54 lbs or you're an Olsen twin.
2. If you're first attempt at suicide was fueled by booze and foiled because the "bullets didn't work" and you get arrested afterwards, wouldn't you pick some other agent of death other than Drano to off yourself with? Drano? William, William, William: what the fuck is your deal?
3. If you've twice tried to commit suicide--no matter how feckless the attempts--and you've survived...then you are here for a reason. Or the universe (or God, if that's your cup of tea) has decided to make you the water cooler joke in heaven, hell, purgatory, nirvana, and whereever else we all might end up. Can't you picture 2 disembodied souls talking about Mr. DeSoto:
Soul#1 You hear about DeSoto? The dude used Drano. What a pussy.
Soul#2 Tell me about it. "The bullets didn't work." Can you beleive this guy?
Soul#1 Well, I can tell you that as soon as he does eventually die, I'm gonna be sure to kick his ass when he gets here.
Soul#2 We don't have asses.
Soul#1 Why you gotta be like that?
Rye bread: Seeds? No seeds? You tell me.